How Did I Get Here?
The question had come out of nowhere.
She had been flitting about the room chattering about, well, everything that popped into her very busy (and very bright) 3 1/2-year-old mind, but mostly about our much anticipated trip to visit our grandsons in just a few more days.
Suddenly, she whirled to face me and out popped the question.
In my heart of hearts, I knew what she was asking. I ignored what I knew though and dropped to one knee in front of her. "Well, you were in Mommy's tummy and when God knew the time was just right..."
"No, not that!" she interrupted sounding frustrated.
The troubled expression on her face as she paused spoke volumes as she struggled to find the words to help me understand. My heart broke for her as I watched and waited.
Knowing what was coming, wondering how she would react to the knowledge, praying God would give me the words to speak and her to receive, because she obviously needed to know.
She cupped her hands on either side of my face and looked directly into my eyes, "How did I get here, Sho?"
It's amazing how much can fly through your mind in a very short span of time. My mind whirled through the series of circumstances that had brought her and her infant sister into our home two years before.
Far more information than she needed to hear, of course, but my mind went reeling back through time anyway. And I will tell you this. At the same time my soul was whispering that these details were just details.
It was not the reason.
I held her gaze and answered. "Mommy brought you to us because she loves you so much."
Her eyes grew puzzled, but I pressed on.
"She was having trouble making sure you girls had everything you need and because she loves you so much she wants to make sure you are always safe and sound. So she asked if she could bring you to us and (my voice got very excited and a huge smile lit my face as I ended my explanation with) we said YES!"
A huge smile lit her face too. Then, she fell into my arms for a huge hug and a whispered "Oh, how I love you." In a moment, she pulled away to continue her excited chatter about our trip and which of her treasured stuffed animals she would take to share with the boys when we got there.
Our evening resumed as normal, but the thought I had had about the circumstances that had brought those sweet, sweet babies into our lives full time not being the true reason they were here would not leave me.
It's been on my mind since.
I first started thinking about the Don't Kiss That Frog Blog three years ago.
I think not.
I was witnessing our baby girl's tumultuous life and so wanted to help her sweet Mommy break free of what I suspected to be an abusive relationship and flourish. All the while, knowing their story was repeated over and over again in the lives of Mommies and babies everywhere. I'd witnessed the scenario played out in other young women's lives right here in our tiny town.
I wanted to help them all.
My plan was to reach out to young women and as the title implies share with them what they need to know to avoid finding themselves in relationships that are doomed to fail from the start. More often than not, leaving not just their lives spiraling out of control, but a child's (or children's lives) life spiraling out of control as well.
But I love her Daddy, too.
I know the words I need to say can help him change his life.
They can help everyone that finds themselves in a horrible circumstance.
Have you ever found yourself thinking, "How did I get here?" Maybe you're there now. Or maybe you have a great life, but there's something a little off kilter.
If you have a sense of knowing deep down there's something, or rather, someone missing that is really important, there probably is. And it's the One who loves you most.
I have no idea the proper blog length, but this looks like it's getting a bit long. Besides, I think maybe I should give you some time to think about things.
Do you feel like there is something missing in your life? Do you full blown want your life to change?
I'd like to share some things with you. What you do with the information will be totally up to you. I hope you come again.
What I plan to share with you is controversial in today's world, so I will say that comments that are meant to goad will not be tolerated.
I hope you read.
I hope God moves.